The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize