I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
