you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
