Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
