ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
