More tranny stories later!
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
