strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
third nipple confirmed
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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