yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
