No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
My feet surprised me
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