I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
