WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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