3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
