...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
