I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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