You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
