Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
