You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Couch. On fire.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
