She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
