He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
