Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
In America we eat man semen.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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