she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
