I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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