6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
