we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
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