I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
