my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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