In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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