I don't usually arrange sex via text message
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
