we're chasing vodka with high fives
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
