i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
