Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
