dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
