He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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