yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
well you can't waste a boner
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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