the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
