Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
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