no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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