so explain again why im purple
no
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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