she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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