so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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