I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize