If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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