just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
