I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
