SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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