ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
