broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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