David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize