Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
