So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
