remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i barfeds in our rink
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
