I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
i now understand why vodka
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
