hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
