Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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