Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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