So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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