So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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