Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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