Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk

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(303): View more from Colorado

we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday

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(987): View more from

Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup

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(605): View more from South Dakota

EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT

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(305): View more from Florida

Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!

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