We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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