when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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